Devious Journal Entry
Journal Entry: Tue Apr 29, 2008, 6:23 PM
what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?
the crazy bitch in me would like to know.
i won't be satisfied
till i suck the marrow from your very soul.
i used to be the fun one,
fast without a second thought;
i used to know directions,
now i've come to a complete stop.
i can't let go. i can't let go. i can't let go.
now my old motto is my mantra more than i could have ever hoped...
tear apart my old skin
let the new flesh bleed
let that familiar sting grow. grow. glow.
circling back to self-destruct,
around to something new yet same.
watching the world around me,
that tantalizing and abandoned game.
waiting for the next surge of emotion
before i drop into usual self-blame.
hate-love-hate-love-hate-love-hate-love
i'm getting whiplash.
fucking speed trap slowdown lane windshield wiping pain.
(whisper in my brain until i lay me down to sleep: two more days, two more days, two more days, two more days...........)
wait--- a glimpse--- for a second there. i almost remember myself [gone]
so reinvent that same old tired routine for five minutes for some halfway unsatisfying effort.
words kind of came back for a moment, i will press
the moment in a book, a trap, a vice
a cage a cell a prison a jail
collected for continuous hours until it dies again and
i lie in wait for the next one
make my jar with holes
in the lid for air
a frew twigs
leaves
two more days, two more days.........
two more goodnights.
i will keep this after then, right?
So what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?
the crazy bitch in me would like to know.
i won't bore you with my distressing shit
but i swear i won't ever let it go.
- Mood:
Anxious - Listening to: the fall i fell - ian cooke
- Reading: middlesex
- Watching: the world's worst police chases
- Playing: the waiting game
- Eating: little debbie swiss cake rolls
- Drinking: nice cold water
Devious Comments
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I am like quicksand; lick it from my hand.
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
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"He would create proudly out of the freedom and power of his soul, as the great artificer whose name he bore, a living thing, new and soaring and beautiful, impalpable, imperishable."
I felt so bad... when we went out last night, I forgot my phone at home! i'm such a retard. But at the time you texted, I was in the movie... so...
you should try to call me tonight if you can... if you have time... i'm so excited for you!!!
i texted you........i don't know where you are. i was going to ring you before i go to bed.
i hope you had a good lunch and are now doing something fun!!!
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
(i'm getting a headache for christmas...yay!)
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
you know what? xmas kind of sucks. i want to be a kid again.........even though i was panic ridden from santa.......it still felt better.
--
How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
--
See what's behind door #3-
[link]
the devil lives here-
[link]
All work always 100% digital free.
oh my GOD i love
it's so........naughty. lol
ps my nailpolish matches my new phone
god i fucking love technology. and at the same time, i am afraid of it.
oh technical invisible monsters that follow me in the darkness that is the internet............how shall i survive?
shutting up now..........
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
--
How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
i'm sorry i didn't get a chance to call you today. i suck.
--
neosynthesis
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
Now you all just sit there and keep your mouths shut, while I go listen to my Britney Spears records. -Sofia
--
How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
and it's been pretty cold.. we had snow on Wednesday morning, and supposed to get more tomorrow night into Saturday. but we haven't had much accumulation, just an inch or so of dusting each time, just enough to screw up the drive in to work.
you didn't try to call me today, did you? i ask because i was sitting with an analyst (lol love that word ANAList) showing him how this one workload is done.......and my phone rang and i couldn't answer it because he was there.........i didn't have any calls out to clients.........and it wasn't josh. VUS EET JU?
miss you tootsie! hope you're doing well!
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
now that's good.
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
--
Autumn Wilson
They say im the dark angel.
That I swallow too many pills.
But I say it isn't enough
Got any more?
If you aint got 10,000 days you don't know what your missing.
" you must have been high"- The pot
Artist TOOOOOOL
Send this to at least 15 people you love, including me if you care for me!
And if you get at least 10 back, you will recieve good news within 15 minutes!
~Let's see how many hearts you get! =]
All the best. Please continue sending you're own love to those you care for.
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FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will send it back to you.
I'm waiting...
It's friendship week.
--
Monsters lay waiting, Heros stand ready...
stupid.
lol
see? i'm ok.
miss you!
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
or was it
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How could I see the future if it didn't already exist?
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