what's going on? what's everyone doing for the holiday next week?

i'm hoping to dig out a little bit. i think going on meds is making me good for 12 hours then i flatline. it's only been a full week, but still. i can't do this going to bed by 8:00 shiz. i think my body's changed. like, last time, this wasn't an issue. but now... ugh. i'm zonked. all the time. can't focus, can't be bothered for shit. it's fuzz. gross.

hopefully stabilizing is in my future. like, near near future, fingers crossed. my mood is a bit better, but the headaches are not worth it. they sucked to begin with, but now my neck feels like a rod from the teeth clenching. where is this coming from? i see my neurologist monday... injection time. maybe that's it. maybe it's all worn off and that's my deal. but seriously, i can't go on like this. i just need more... life is not meant to be this shitty, even when i'm trying to help myself.

i'm trying, though. we even went to the bug museum last weekend. seriously... butterflies and moths and shit flying at my head. ya'll know i have a moth phobia. but i did okay. i did not hold anything though. that would have gone over the line. baby steps.

k. that's all. for now. i spose.